Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
