hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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