now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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