i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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