Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
