god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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