omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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