her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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