ya dads aren't the best wingmen
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize