I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it because I queefed?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
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i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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