there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
