When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Come see our sink grown plant.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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