boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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