i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
