She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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