why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
