you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
