If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
