ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
