Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
