you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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