Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.