A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
