She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
