Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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