Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
