well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
