my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize