I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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