Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I smell like Dick and happiness
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
