there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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