Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
