imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
