My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
