Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we're so committed to being not committed
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
