Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
