how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
