Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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