I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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