U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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