Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
