so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize