i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm jealous of your bromance
there's paper in my vomit.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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