before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
