Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
