Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
