The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
