Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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