Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
At least life still wants to fuck me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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