did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
