I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
