Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
