Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize