He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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