I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
