WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
