the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
