I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
