Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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