we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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