so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
