Tell her she can't have a vagina
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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