John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
