I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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