tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
